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Tekie Geek has been serving the Staten Island area since 2012, providing IT Support such as technical helpdesk support, computer support, and consulting to small and medium-sized businesses.

Rebels Disguised as Computer Services Providers Hack Staten Island Businesses Supporting the Empire!

Rebels Disguised as Computer Services Providers Hack Staten Island Businesses Supporting the Empire!

The Phantom Rebels

Lord Vader parsed through data sent by the firm providing computer services in Staten Island, uploaded the information into his navigation computer, and entered hyper-hyperspace in a determined way only possible for the “baddest” Darth of them all.

His vessel soon materialized beyond a green-blue planet. "Uglier than Alderaan," Vader breathed through his mask. "It is neither Hoth-like, nor forested as Endor, nor desert like dear Tatooine. How unimpressive. Most unimpressive."

Vader maneuvered his ship into this patchwork world and found the IT services building Benke Hugil had discovered. He landed his shuttle in the street and strode down its tongue-like ramp.

A traffic cop was writing a ticket to greet him. "Nice ship, space cadet. What're you parking in the middle of the street for?"

"I have come seeking computer services in Staten Island."

"Good for you. Got a permit for that thing?"

"I need no permit."

"Then you need to sign this ticket."

"You need to learn respect," and Vader hefted the man bodily with the dark side and chucked him several hundred yards from the shuttle. The officer described a perfect arc, bellowing a Wilhelm scream the whole way.

Attack of the Drones

"Now your leader will arrive," Mike Bloomberg said with a gesture toward the entrance of Tekie Geek.

On cue, the doors exploded inward and the lightless silhouette of Darth Vader caused stormtroopers to quake as they jerked to attention. "So. This is the firm that will help restore order to the galaxy.

  • Data Services
  • IT Security
  • Software
  • Hardware

...and many other services are listed on their antiquated futuristic website. Yet these offices... less than impressive."

"Lord Vader---"

" Silence, Commander Hugil. I'm interested in what your new force adept has to say."

"So, you're the Dark Lord of the Sith," Bloomberg swiveled around in an office chair re-purposed as a Sith throne.

"And you're Mike Bloomberg."

"A master of the force! In three minutes an attack from rebels posing as computer services providers from another firm will commence."

"Then let us wait."

Four minutes passed, and a cavalcade of drones flown by the geekiest of geeks in plaid, slacks, and spectacles came through the open door. Before they could even get their cover story out, Bloomberg sent lightning into the drones and Vader used a force trick to suspend them in the air, where they floundered around with golliwog expressions. Several tried to fight back with blasters hidden on their persons, but between Vader and Bloomberg, they never stood a chance.

Revenge of the Tech Guys

"Commander Hugil, this solution for computer services in Staten Island is impressive, most impressive. Mike Bloomberg, your powers are strong, but you are not a Sith Lord yet."

"Oh no?"

One of the suspended rebels in disguise abruptly exploded, throwing body parts everywhere except a sphere of force deflection, the center of which was described by Bloomberg and Vader. "You would have seen his hidden bomb if you were, Bloomberg. But your feelings serve you well. Have your minions clean up this mess."

"I run my tech firm how I wish."

"Beware your attitude, Bloomberg, or perhaps it will not always be your firm," and Vader left in a flourish of darkened robes underscored by a bombastic orchestral theme that came from no one knew where.

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