Benke Hugil's New Hope
The Empire needed data recovery in Staten Island… and fast. A stormtrooper stated the obvious through his expressionless triangular helmet: "Sir, all data we managed sourced regarding more secure, trustworthy information connectivity, security, and storage has been destroyed by the rebels."
"Blast! Blast, blast, BLAST! I wish I knew a better expletive, but that's the harshest we have: BLAST!" For the first time, Commander Benke Hugil understood why Lord Vader strangled people.
Return of The Bloomberg
Thankfully at that moment, Mike Bloomberg, leader of the IT organization the Empire had commandeered, appeared with no small amount of fanfare. A thundercloud of electric blue lightning silhouetted an exterior door and it exploded inward with a crack and a squeal. "I have returned, minions!" Bloomberg exclaimed, sending a lightning bolt toward a mound of rubble and cackling as he used his newly-discovered Sith powers to reconstruct it to its previous form using a temporal manipulation trick only hinted at in the darkest parts of the most obscure Jedi temples; and only then as an example of the evilest Sith shenanigans the galaxy had ever known. But Bloomberg was still speaking: "Our managed IT services will be bar none!
- IT Security!
- Cloud Computing!
- Data Services!
We are...Tekie Geek!" And Bloomberg's lightning fingers made a cyclone of electricity in the center of his offices where the rebels had successfully destroyed all The Empire's newly-acquired data. "Before, we were highly recommended for data recovery in Staten Island. Now we will be the option!" And Bloomberg cackled like a hen.
The Empire Strikes Back-up Gold
Commander Hugil stood astonished. "Not since Palpatine..." he murmured. Several stormtroopers in the background looked between themselves, scented crazy on the air, slowly backed into the shadows, and then went AWOL; deciding they'd take their chances on the Staten Island streets rather than contend with another man powerful as The Emperor.
In moments, Commander Hugil had re-established a connection with Lord Vader. He was sitting in one of his spherical chambers breathing menacingly and staring into the distance with his dark thoughts. Because when you're as good at your job as Darth Vader, sometimes you get free time... and what are you going to do with it? Stare into space by yourself in a metal sphere. Best possible way to pass the hours. But as was the norm, Vader was all business: "What do you have for me, Commander?"
"Yes, that is who you're speaking to. No need for restatement. Get on with it."
"Uh, Lord--- I mean, well--- the rebels managed to follow us into hyper-hyperspace. Well that's not quite true--- somehow, they got sucked through our slipstream in a way which deposited them in Staten Island, New York--- a province in this barbaric land--- several weeks before we arrived. They destroyed our data center, but we found a force-adept with more midichlorians than droid RUB3 had ever seen! He did some temporal force trick and restored everything!
"And you found this data recovery in Staten Island, beyond the fringe?"
"Yes, Lord Vader!"
"Send me the coordinates, and a profile on this force adept. I will see him myself."
"Yes, Lord Vader."
"Impressive. Quite impressive."
"Watch your tongue, Hugil! I'll choke you from here if I have to," and the screen went dark.